I am a writer who has discovered living on the other side of the rainbow

I have the privilege now to view my world on my terms.  I choose to enjoy every day regardless of what is happening in my personal life.  It took me a long time to recognize I have control over how I respond to my immediate family.  I used to ride the roller coaster right along with them until I recognized I have a choice in the matter.  I am grateful that I finally have the ability to respond in a manner, that is healthy and positive.  It does not mean that I am unsympathetic to what is happening with them, only that my personal response does not have to place me into crisis mode.

I believe that my life skills were halted in great part due to my experience living in an orphanage for ten years, and clearly it played a huge role in my inability to recognize how to manage situations within my marriage that were clearly unacceptable.  The Catholic Church also played heavily on my mind though I had given up practicing the faith long ago.  There were many pressures for me to remain loyal to a Church, I simply could not believe in.  I respect the nuns who raised me, but I do not agree with the dominance the Church has over its members.

I am grateful to be where I am today, though I am poorer now than I ever been.  I have a roof over my head and food in my belly.  I have an editor who is trying to work with me, and I am rich in friendships. Indeed, I am truly blessed.  Time dictates who we become.  I choose not to remain stagnant in my life and to be pleased for the opportunities that are presenting themselves as I discover who I truly am.

My memories used to haunt me, but now I realize they are not present day occurrences.  I am grateful I have control over my life, and I do not have someone dictating what I should think, eat, and believe. Do not be mistaken; however, I do believe there is a God who allowed me to have my personal struggles to make me a better person.  My personal life has given me great empathy for those with special needs.  I have functioned both in their world and outside of it.  In my present circumstance, I am not paid, but I have more opportunities to teach than ever before, yet, I also remain a student in life.  My peers are those with special needs, who help remind me through their struggles how very fortunate I am.   I am the voice of the silent, the advocate of the weak and the friend to others that so many shy away from because I am one of them.  I have been homeless, insane, lonely, angry, tired, weak, lost and on occasion abused, but now I am the champion of my life.  I am happy to be me and grateful to have gone through my life experiences because I have insight on so many levels.  If I fail to smile when you smile at me, forgive me, I may be deep in thought.  If I fail to make eye contact, please do not hold it against me, it is not what I learned.  I will try to think of these things when I meet you.  Thank you for reading my life adventure and may your travel improve as you traverse this great world of ours.