I actually have a headache tonight as a posting was placed on my Facebook page of an actual be-heading. I was shocked and horrified, as I had made a point of not watching any of these. When the page scrolled down, I did not know what I had seen as the video was already in play. I re-played it not understanding what I had witnessed, and I about threw up.
I have not seen such graphic images since the Vietnam War when I was a young child or of individuals who have set themselves on fire when I was young adult. Those images were displayed on television. I never want to become anesthetized to the horrors of violent deaths.
I shielded myself in my own reporting by photographing images such as a train accident that occurred in Fowlerville by focusing my lens on the vehicle. The only image alluding to the fact that a person was inside of the car was that I allowed my lens to capture the person's gym shoe. For me the story was the devastation of the impact. I made a personal decision not to photograph the person who survived, but had life altering injuries. I also had to photograph the skid marks on the road for the police.
Writing about things helps me let go of things that I have witnessed. My headache is now disappearing, but let me share with you what the Facebook video addressed as I understood it. The person who posted the video believes be-headings are an appropriate punishment for rape. Personally, being raised in the United States of America with our judicial system, I don't have a firm grip on the matter, and I don't know what you would do with a repeat offender. I have always held a stance of non-violence even in the most difficult situation. I was taught forgiveness by the Nuns, but blocking images that cause me duress is also an effective tool even when I have been violated.
I have to be able to sleep at night, so I try not to think about things that cause me difficulty. Sleeping has not always been easy with all that I have witnessed or experienced, but I am learning how to cope. I am a reporter always even when I am not collecting a paycheck because I believe in humanitarian efforts. I have an ethical and moral responsibility to do the best I can to lead my life in a manner that will ultimately be for others good as well as my own good. Have I messed up, absolutely, no one is perfect.
I am engaging in dialogue with those of other Faiths to try to educate myself not only on religion, but on cultural, political and ethical values. I am not God, therefore, what I try to bring to the table is an open mind to try to understand their perspective without trying to interject my own, though at times this is not easy. Personally, I find cultural differences is where I have the most difficulty because it seems when I learn about the culture, it follows that I am also learning about the political and then the religious. I don't understand how women are viewed in so many cultures and so I am trying to learn to listen. I want to be like the wind and hear everything before settling a single leaf.
I am forever a student as well as a teacher, but always a student first. My life may never have a big impact unlike when I was young and had aspirations to be in politics and settle world affairs. My goal now is to be the best I can be and to discover how to re-introduce myself to society by saying no matter how much life has tossed at me, I have a moral responsibility to pick myself up and set my thoughts in order, so I can make the most of my life, while setting a positive example for my family.
I have no excuse. I have an education. I may not have transportation at the moment, but I will secure employment once again, and in the meantime, I am going to be the best tutor I can be. I do desire to get back into reporting on some level, but this may take time before it happens. Most of all I am fortunate to have so many people who care about me.
I have not seen such graphic images since the Vietnam War when I was a young child or of individuals who have set themselves on fire when I was young adult. Those images were displayed on television. I never want to become anesthetized to the horrors of violent deaths.
I shielded myself in my own reporting by photographing images such as a train accident that occurred in Fowlerville by focusing my lens on the vehicle. The only image alluding to the fact that a person was inside of the car was that I allowed my lens to capture the person's gym shoe. For me the story was the devastation of the impact. I made a personal decision not to photograph the person who survived, but had life altering injuries. I also had to photograph the skid marks on the road for the police.
Writing about things helps me let go of things that I have witnessed. My headache is now disappearing, but let me share with you what the Facebook video addressed as I understood it. The person who posted the video believes be-headings are an appropriate punishment for rape. Personally, being raised in the United States of America with our judicial system, I don't have a firm grip on the matter, and I don't know what you would do with a repeat offender. I have always held a stance of non-violence even in the most difficult situation. I was taught forgiveness by the Nuns, but blocking images that cause me duress is also an effective tool even when I have been violated.
I have to be able to sleep at night, so I try not to think about things that cause me difficulty. Sleeping has not always been easy with all that I have witnessed or experienced, but I am learning how to cope. I am a reporter always even when I am not collecting a paycheck because I believe in humanitarian efforts. I have an ethical and moral responsibility to do the best I can to lead my life in a manner that will ultimately be for others good as well as my own good. Have I messed up, absolutely, no one is perfect.
I am engaging in dialogue with those of other Faiths to try to educate myself not only on religion, but on cultural, political and ethical values. I am not God, therefore, what I try to bring to the table is an open mind to try to understand their perspective without trying to interject my own, though at times this is not easy. Personally, I find cultural differences is where I have the most difficulty because it seems when I learn about the culture, it follows that I am also learning about the political and then the religious. I don't understand how women are viewed in so many cultures and so I am trying to learn to listen. I want to be like the wind and hear everything before settling a single leaf.
I am forever a student as well as a teacher, but always a student first. My life may never have a big impact unlike when I was young and had aspirations to be in politics and settle world affairs. My goal now is to be the best I can be and to discover how to re-introduce myself to society by saying no matter how much life has tossed at me, I have a moral responsibility to pick myself up and set my thoughts in order, so I can make the most of my life, while setting a positive example for my family.
I have no excuse. I have an education. I may not have transportation at the moment, but I will secure employment once again, and in the meantime, I am going to be the best tutor I can be. I do desire to get back into reporting on some level, but this may take time before it happens. Most of all I am fortunate to have so many people who care about me.
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