My Huck Finn is Adjusting

My Huck Finn is adjusting to living temporarily with me. He is an independent soul and has been going to work in construction every day. Tomorrow, he has an appointment with his psychiatrist to renew his medication. 

He is industrious and he has a good social network. As of right now, he knows how important the medication is to his wellbeing. He is sleeping in my spare bedroom. I don't want him to burn himself out, so I am trying to let him run his own show.

My daughter, Anne based loosely on Anne of Green Gables, is having what I would say is the opposite effect from her medication and appears to be manic. I may have to babysit my grandchildren, but I don't know.

As for me, I am working part-time and have the ability to put my work on the backburner. I am used to being a caretaker, as I have done it all my life. Sadly, there were many times, I did not take the medication, so I was hospitalized several times. There were times I did take medication and still wound up in the hospital, but not for long. So, the medication sometimes has to be adjusted.

I am working very hard to stay well for my children and grandchildren. I am keeping in contact with those who help me handling things. That doesn't mean it is not a rocky road.

Having the ability to reduce stress by not working is a wonderful benefit to my mental health as I am a senior citizen. I am working on my autobiography a little bit at a time so I hope it will inspire a movie. I am writing it as a book, but I plan to pitch it later as a movie. I intend to keep the characters anonymous in the book.

My Huck Finn Is Coming Home

My Huck Finn has not lived with me since he was eighteen years old. He works in construction and has a job lined up here in Michigan. I am praying he gets the insurance that he needs and that it is excellent enough to cover his medication. The scary thing is, I am not sure how much the medication is going to cost if we have to pay out of pocket initially.

We are going to make a trip to the behavioral center so he can get his meds renewed. I have a twin bed; however, my grandson, who has special needs, was jumping up and down on the bed and I couldn't get him to stop. When I sat down on the bed it went kerplunk, so Huck will have to sleep with mattresses on the floor until I get a frame.

For those of you who have an adult child or adult children, that have a mental illness, I am sure you can sympathize with me about the very real struggle to keep them on the straight and narrow especially boys. The journey my son is on also happens to be mine as well. We have to be a pillar of strength in order to stay healthy and continue to work. I have to be aware if he has difficulties while also watching myself for problems.

Two things have happened since I began this expose. First, we were able to get his medication. Second my Huck Finn was able to repair the frame. Lastly, he is working. We still need to learn if his insurance will be decent.

On another note, he is making progress in his move. He has to go to the Secretary of State to get a new license. He also has to do a change of address at the Post Office and finally he has to temporarily seek Medicaid.

All in all, it has been very productive.

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Lethal Injection Proposed by Brian Kilmeade

I have been contemplating what an appropriate argument would be to change Brian Kilmeade's voiced opinion on national television that lethal injection would be appropriate for the mentally ill and the homeless. 

My thought is that those words were the first thing out of his mouth and as such have to be a part of his beliefs. How do you educate someone like that? The other hosts stood idly by. 

As someone who has been homeless and has a mental illness is it possible for me to alter his views or will my words fall on deaf ears? Society seems in such chaos now. The divisions have created a widening chasm and there is no in-between as extremism on both sides is creating no room for dialogue. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19VPMzajark You can skip the ads when the icon appears. I chose this video because the speaker accidentally called one of the host an airhead and it may have been a Freudian slip. but I found it funny. I hope you can appreciate my laughter on that because I am human. I don't want to diminish the topic; however.

My parents both had mental illness, my children have it, but as a mother I cannot just walk away. I believe through education (life and college) both my children will thrive despite their difficulties. I also have two grandchildren that I pray will not face the horrors of a broken mental health system. 

In the State of Michigan, there is a push to privatize the mental health system, but at what cost?  Look at what has happened to our jail system when they privatized. I have been a part of the mental health system since 1981. I have worked part-time most of my life and I have done a lot of volunteering. My family remains my focus. 

More to come.

God Given Duty

I am compelled to write as though it is a God Given Duty to protect the disabled and less fortunate. I have a B.S. in English, language, arts from Eastern Michigan University and an associate's degree in business administration from Oakland Community College.

I have been an Independent Contractor since, 1988. I have had years of dry spells with little or no writing, but as I am in my sixties, I recognize that there are younger generations who need to know history so yes, it must not repeat itself.

One of Trump's policies would allow the USDA and DHS to turn records over that would identify the recipients who are on Snap and report exactly what is being purchased. And personal information like social security numbers and addresses would be revealed. This has never been done as HIPPA protects personal information, so Michigan Attorney General, Dana Nessel has joined several other states in filing an injunction preventing USDA and DHS from divulging that information.

If there were ever a time that is ripe for eugenics, the time is now. With the government's intrusion into people's lives, we are in a time that is frightening. Think this has never happened in the states before, look up information from the 1920's and 30's.

I have to not focus on this too much as it is late and like others too much dwelling on things is not healthy. I will write more for your viewing another day.

My Huck Finn

I have seen tattered clothes and shattered lives in my years with my Huck Finn, but he is happy now. I have grown right along with him. When he was a boy, he had somewhat of a Tom Sawyer approach getting his friends to do his chores like mowing the lawn and raking leaves. He didn't pawn off all his work. Many times, he did mow the lawn, rake the leaves and clean the gutters.

He tried to help his sister, Anne of Green Gables, to remodel her room. He is gentle soul at heart, but authorities don't understand him because he has an illness that changes his personality. Generally, law enforcement is not trained in mental health. Unfortunately, many long-term hospitals are closed. For many years, he struggled to understand that medication could make a world of difference for him.

I have been on the path of success before with him, I just pray he stays well. He is back to work now. In his youth, he skated through school literally with his skateboard. He loved to ride his bike and make dirt jumps with his friends. Keeping this child from the outdoors would be a hefty task and I always felt better that he was with his friends playing outdoors. What I did not realize was he was taking drugs with those same friends. When he was sixteen, I was already divorced, and I realized he needed help. I took him to the hospital once and his friends took him before the age of eighteen. In both instances, he was transferred, and they thought he only had a drug problem, and, in both cases, he was released twice after two weeks. It took a bit for him to graduate high school, but he did it and then took coursework in college.    

My Huck Finn is definitely a scrapper. He has pulled himself up by his bootstraps numerous times, but what is the illness that has plagued him so many times? Schizophrenia has absolutely wreaked havoc with him, but as his mom, I pray all the time that he will stay well.

I have been blessed to help him out as best I can, and the in-laws have been wonderful working arrangements with him so he can work. I am like other moms just hoping and praying he gets the help he needs to continue on the road to success. Temporarily, he is in a halfway house. He is doing construction work.

Huck Finn first saw time in a jail at eighteen. He hadn't even been out of the hospital a week. I was at the courthouse trying to locate my ex-husband for alimony. My son didn't understand why I was there. He took my car when I had gotten out. I had told security what he had done, but that only escalated the situation because the guard went to use the phone for backup when Huck hung-up the phone. 

More will be in my autobiography when it is complete.

I said goodbye to Billy

I was living in federal housing, and I met Billy through Fred, my partner who recently passed away.  Billy was excellent with music and photography, but he suffered from schizophrenia. He and I had an unspoken agreement that he would not drink or smoke marijuana when I was taking guitar lessons. He only forgot once.

He had me download a metronome on my phone. He loved purchasing guitars and had a music program on his computer.

Billy told me how he had an agreement with his mom that if he quit drinking and took care of himself, she would give him her Chevy Malibu.

He had long hair and a great personality, but his demons got the better of him. We would practice guitar for one hour. He was trying to teach me Tom Petty's song, "You don't know how it feels." Tom Petty - You Don't Know How It Feels [Official Music Video]

I never mastered this song, but I had fun learning. He seemed to get lost in Petty's lyrics. I played some songs for him that I had written and sang. We probably had lessons for six months. Billy was absorbed in drinking though he was told it would kill him.

One day, I believe it was a Sunday, a lady came to the front door and said she couldn't get ahold of her brother, which was unusual she said. I stayed by the door while she went upstairs. Minutes later, she came running down the stairs and said, "He's dead, He's dead." She didn't have her phone, so I let her use mine. She wanted to call her mom, but my own experience calling my aunt first when my roommate died, I told her, "I think you want to call the police first. By this time, we were both in Billy's room. He was blue and had no pulse. His veins were projecting from his face, and he was facing the couch cushion. The 911 operator was asking if I wanted to perform CPR. I told her, "No," two or three times. It was obvious he was gone.

Later, I bought a card, which some of the residents signed. I was glad to be able to give it to his sister. I found a part of me was dying in that building as there was so much sadness, poverty and loneliness around.  

My aunt set me up with a special needs trust, so I was able to get a condominium. I don't ever want to forget the friends I made, but being in my own place is healthier.