In some ways the Mental Health System has improved, but there are so many areas that remain an absolute disgrace that no normal individual would ever be the same after witnessing the injustices that exist. The only way to move on is to block it from one one's memory.
When I was twenty-five and placed at Clinton Valley Psychiatric Hospital, which no longer exists, there were unimaginable things that happened. I was first at Providence and had Dr. Baima? sp.
Clinton Valley placed individuals in seclusion beyond the number of hours permitted by law. I too experienced this and wound up urinating on myself.
There was a woman who would walk stark naked in a narrow circle. When it was time for showers, individuals would line up.
One day, I was so frustrated that I pushed a woman aside and confused the woman dispensing medication by taking her dose plus my own. The poor woman dispensing the medication was Asian, and she clearly was confused, but because she had looked down for the next dose without really observing the switch and with the number of people in line, she opted to give me the medication. Well, obviously I survived.
There were people that cared including a wonderful attendant named Fatima. Fatima told me she had heard about me and believed I could be successful. I was speaking various foreign fragments of languages that I was exposed to over the years. I was praying in my own way. I was referencing God in all the languages I had ever heard the name spoken.
While there, I met a young Asian Woman. She and I became friends. One day she was no longer at the Hospital, and I asked the Doctor what had happened to her. The Doctor explained that her parents had felt she could receive treatment at home. The cultural divide was wide. The Doctor, also of Asian descent continued that when she went home, she committed suicide. I felt a void in my soul like I had not felt before.
A relative of mine who was always instrumental in my success in coping with the illness remained loyally committed to my attaining my sanity once again. With the support of this relative, medications and my in-laws, I discovered the strength within to move forward with my life.
Welcoming me, was a precious little baby girl I had brought into this world. My duty was then to serve her as the best Mom I could be. I enjoyed the role of Motherhood. I reveled in her progress and in her exploration of the world.
I moved into a home, which later became more of a house of horrors, but more on that later. My daughter grew and she loved to smile, dance and sing. She began preschool and because I had my degree, I was able to substitute teach both my daughter and later my son from preschool on up. Obviously, I never shared my struggles about mental illness with the work world. I had years without episodes and the triggers tended to come from home problems. I was able to work successfully for years by blocking these things from my mind.
I hope one day that my children will know that I did the best I could in light of the circumstances and that I left them with a better skill set having moved on from some extraordinarily difficult situations myself. I am in the second chapter of my life, as my children are now adults and together, hopefully, we can generate an attitude that will help all individuals impacted by mental illness in a positive way.
When I was twenty-five and placed at Clinton Valley Psychiatric Hospital, which no longer exists, there were unimaginable things that happened. I was first at Providence and had Dr. Baima? sp.
Clinton Valley placed individuals in seclusion beyond the number of hours permitted by law. I too experienced this and wound up urinating on myself.
There was a woman who would walk stark naked in a narrow circle. When it was time for showers, individuals would line up.
One day, I was so frustrated that I pushed a woman aside and confused the woman dispensing medication by taking her dose plus my own. The poor woman dispensing the medication was Asian, and she clearly was confused, but because she had looked down for the next dose without really observing the switch and with the number of people in line, she opted to give me the medication. Well, obviously I survived.
There were people that cared including a wonderful attendant named Fatima. Fatima told me she had heard about me and believed I could be successful. I was speaking various foreign fragments of languages that I was exposed to over the years. I was praying in my own way. I was referencing God in all the languages I had ever heard the name spoken.
While there, I met a young Asian Woman. She and I became friends. One day she was no longer at the Hospital, and I asked the Doctor what had happened to her. The Doctor explained that her parents had felt she could receive treatment at home. The cultural divide was wide. The Doctor, also of Asian descent continued that when she went home, she committed suicide. I felt a void in my soul like I had not felt before.
A relative of mine who was always instrumental in my success in coping with the illness remained loyally committed to my attaining my sanity once again. With the support of this relative, medications and my in-laws, I discovered the strength within to move forward with my life.
Welcoming me, was a precious little baby girl I had brought into this world. My duty was then to serve her as the best Mom I could be. I enjoyed the role of Motherhood. I reveled in her progress and in her exploration of the world.
I moved into a home, which later became more of a house of horrors, but more on that later. My daughter grew and she loved to smile, dance and sing. She began preschool and because I had my degree, I was able to substitute teach both my daughter and later my son from preschool on up. Obviously, I never shared my struggles about mental illness with the work world. I had years without episodes and the triggers tended to come from home problems. I was able to work successfully for years by blocking these things from my mind.
I hope one day that my children will know that I did the best I could in light of the circumstances and that I left them with a better skill set having moved on from some extraordinarily difficult situations myself. I am in the second chapter of my life, as my children are now adults and together, hopefully, we can generate an attitude that will help all individuals impacted by mental illness in a positive way.
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